Lost In The Illusion: How Chasing Love, Lust and Luxury Can Derail a Woman?s Destiny.
By Eric Paddy Boso.
Introduction: Beyond the Physical
Sex is not just a physical act?it is a soul-level exchange. Every time two people become sexually involved, a spiritual and emotional bond is formed. For women especially, sex is often experienced through both the heart and the body. That?s why repeated or excessive sexual encounters?especially without emotional safety or spiritual awareness?can have long-lasting effects on a woman's ability to form healthy, faithful, and emotionally committed bonds.
In a world where love is often confused with lust, and self-worth is measured by likes, gifts, and validation, many young women are unknowingly walking a path that slowly erodes their potential. The pursuit of romantic relationships driven by money, attention, and emotional desperation has led far too many into cycles of heartbreak, regret, and, in some cases?destruction.
This is not just about morality. It is about health, wealth, worth, and destiny. This is a cry for every young woman to rise above the mistakes of generations before them and reclaim the power of intentional living, emotional maturity, and sexual responsibility.
The Cycle of Poor Choices
Too many women have traded long-term value for short-term satisfaction, chasing after men who offer cash, cars, and fleeting comfort in exchange for bodies, silence, and self-respect. Driven by hunger for affection, status, or material comfort, many fall into patterns of promiscuity, cheating, and careless emotional investments.
These choices may feel exciting or validating in the moment, but over time, they lead to a kind of self-abandonment that is hard to reverse without healing.
The Price of Recklessness
1. Health Risks
Frequent, unprotected sex with multiple partners doesn't just invite STIs or unplanned pregnancies?it slowly chips away at a woman?s bodily dignity and security. Many suffer from untreated reproductive issues, fertility struggles, and emotional trauma from experiences that promised love but delivered pain.
2. Emotional and Psychological Damage
When love becomes transactional, the heart becomes fragile. Many young women experience depression, anxiety, and deep-seated self-doubt. The cycle of giving too much and receiving too little emotionally leaves them empty, anxious, and emotionally unsafe.
3. Loss of Self-Worth
A woman?s worth is not in her body or beauty alone. But when validation is consistently sought through sex, money, or attention, she begins to believe she is only valuable when desired?a mindset that slowly becomes identity.
4. Wealth and Financial Instability
Depending on romantic partners for money may seem like survival or luxury?but long-term, it creates financial dependence. When the relationship ends (as it often does), the woman is left with no skill, no savings, and no foundation.
5. The Body Count Culture
While society debates the term ?body count,? the deeper issue is emotional and spiritual fragmentation. Casual sex often leaves behind invisible wounds?energetic imprints and unresolved emotions. It?s not about shame?it?s about integrity, clarity, and wholeness.
Understanding Why Faithfulness Becomes Difficult
1. Soul Ties and Emotional Fragmentation
Every sexual encounter creates energetic cords between people. Without healing or emotional closure, a woman?s soul becomes fragmented, her emotions scattered across former lovers.
Weaken her ability to bond deeply
Create emotional confusion or divided loyalty
Make her compare past and present partners
Lead to mistrust and disconnection in committed relationships
2. Dopamine Overload and Attachment Dysregulation
Repeated sex triggers the brain's pleasure and bonding chemicals?dopamine and oxytocin. When activated too often with different partners, the brain becomes addicted to novelty, not stability.
This leads to:
Restlessness in monogamy
Cravings for excitement over consistency
Emotional detachment masked as freedom
3. Trauma, Abandonment, and Self-Sabotage
Some women use sex as a way to cope with pain?abandonment, abuse, or childhood neglect. This often leads to:
Fear of real intimacy
Deep trust issues
Self-sabotaging patterns (cheating, ghosting, etc.)
Choosing chaos over calm, even in healthy relationships
4. Lack of Emotional Boundaries
When sex is casual and repetitive, emotional discipline weakens. Temptation, loneliness, or validation-seeking may overrule commitment.
This may manifest as:
Emotional cheating
Sudden infidelity
Difficulty saying no to attention
5. Media Culture and Identity Loss
Modern culture glamorizes sex without attachment. It tells women that freedom means detachment and attention equals empowerment.
But when emotional responsibility is missing:
A woman may lose sight of her true self
Forget how to honor her body and spirit
Mistake being wanted for being loved
6. The Wounded Inner Girl and Fear of Stability
Beneath many reckless patterns is a wounded inner girl?a younger self still seeking love, approval, or rescue. She may fear:
Being too seen or too vulnerable
Settling down and feeling ?trapped?
That no one will love her if she stops performing
Until this part of her is healed, the cycle continues.
Learning from the Past: Our Mothers and Sisters
Too many women were raised by mothers and aunties who sacrificed everything for men who gave nothing in return. Others suffered silently, ashamed of the choices they made or the men they trusted.
Their pain should not be repeated?it should be studied, honored, and transformed. Their scars are not for mockery; they are signs pointing to a better way.
A New Path: Building with Purpose, Not Desperation
Here?s how young women can take back their power:
1. Heal First, Love Later
Go to therapy. Journal. Pray.
Heal the wounds that keep leading you into toxic relationships.
2. Build a Life You?re Proud Of
Pursue education, business, purpose.
Be whole before becoming ?half of a couple.?
3. Choose Partners With Wisdom
Don?t settle for sweet talk.
Look for character, not charisma.
4. Practice Sexual Integrity
Not out of shame, but from wisdom.
Understand soul ties, trauma loops, and spiritual warfare.
5. Seek God, Not Just Gifts
Let your spiritual identity anchor your decisions.
Know your worth in Christ, not culture
6. Know That You Are Enough
Whether single, married, or waiting?you are complete.
Your worth doesn?t increase with a man or decrease without one.
Conclusion: You Were Made for More
Dear young woman, you were never created to be just another name on a man?s list, another girl lost in the illusion of love and lust. You are powerful. Purposeful. Precious.
But you must choose differently.
Do not abandon yourself for a compliment. Do not sell your soul for a handbag or status. The world is watching. Your younger sisters are watching. Your destiny is waiting.
Build it with wisdom. Protect your heart. Honor your body.
You were never meant to just survive?you were meant to RISE.
Cujoe999x1@yahoo.com